


A Helping Whitelighter

by btvscharmedgirl



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Charmed (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 03:44:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9366545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/btvscharmedgirl/pseuds/btvscharmedgirl
Summary: Just days after the death of her girlfriend Tara, Willow meets a young Whitelighter who's sole job is to help Willow move forward.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This Story was previously posted on FF.net as a multi-chapter story. I've cleaned it up a bit, and condensed it into on chapter. 
> 
> I thank anybody who is taking the time to read this, and I would love to know what you think. Enjoy!

A Helping Whitelighter

Willow watched out the window of the bus as it drove out of Sunnydale. She knew she should be on a plane to England with Giles, but there was a promise she had to fulfill before she could go with him. The conversation she had had with Giles the night before was still fresh in her mind.

'I know that this is hard Willow, but I think it is best for you to come with me to England. Normally I would leave this up to you, but considering the circumstances, I don't think it is wise for you to be making this decision for yourself,' Giles said.

Willow stared at Giles from across the dining room table. She was unclear about what Giles was telling her. Given what she had just been through, it was understandable.

It was a few minutes before she weakly asked, "Giles what are you saying?"

"What I am trying to say, Willow, is that you are coming home with me to England," Giles said.

"And I don't get a choice?" She asked.

"No," he responded firmly.

"Because you don't trust my decisions?" She asked in a monotone voice. Giles did not respond to this question, however Willow took his silence as a no. "What do the other's think?" She asked, dreading the answer she was going to receive.

As he took his glasses off his face to clean them, he stated softly, "Buffy, Xander, and Dawn all think this is what is best for you as well."

She stared at the man for a few moments, before asking, "How long will I stay with you?"

"As long of time is needed for you to recover," Giles said cryptically.

Willow sat silent for a few minutes thinking thing over. She knew that there was no choice, but she had to do something before she went. She promised her, and this was a promise she was going to keep. No matter what the consequences are. "I'll go with you," she finally said. "But there is something I must do first, and I have to do it alone."

Giles looked at Willow trying to assess how to go about this without upsetting the woman across from him. Unfortunately, given the current situation there were not a lot of options. He settled on trying to talk her out of it.

"Willow, I do not think it is wise for you to be off on your own at the moment. Whatever it is, surely it can wait until you return."

"No Giles. It can't wait. I made her a promise, and I'm going to keep it. I will not fail her again," She said forcefully, while choking back tears.

At the sight of the tears, Giles almost gave in to her, but he knew it was not an option. He got up from his chair and knelt next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear, "She's gone Willow, and there is nothing you can do to change that. Tara would want you to take care of yourself first, before you fulfill her promise."

"She made me promise Giles. That morning, before she…" Her words got caught in her throat. "She made me promise her, Giles, if anything happened to her she wanted me to go to her mother's grave. She made me promise."

"Her mother's grave will still be there when you return. Right now you have to go pack. We leave for England in the morning." He gave her a kiss on her head and then walked into the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

Willow sat in the dining room for a few minutes before going up to her room. She stood in the door way for half an hour before she worked up the courage to walk in. She quickly grabbed a few changes of clothing, a picture of her and Tara, and her laptop. She left a note for Giles on her bed, then quietly slipped out the front door.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x- x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Willow slowly walked through the San Francisco Memorial Gardens, scanning the headstones for Tara's mother's. It was a little while before she found it. The grave was nestled a under an old maple tree. Willow kneeled in front of the tombstone. "Hello Mrs. McClay. I'm Willow, but you probably already knew that. Tara asked me to come." Willow kneeled there in silence for a moment. "Tara wants me to dig something up. She said it meant a lot to you and her. She made me promise to come and get it if anything happened to her." Willow paused for a moment trying to fight back tears. "I love Tara so much. Please take care of her for me," Willow said as tears started to fall.

Willow pulled the gardening shovel out of her bag, and started to dig where Tara had instructed her to. She had been shoveling for only a few minutes when she hit a metal box. She pulled the box out of the hole, then refilled it.

Willow sat on Mrs. McClay's grave, just staring at the box, for over an hour. She didn't come out of her stupor until she heard a soft feminine voice behind her ask, "Are you going to open it?"

When Willow looked over her shoulder, the woman noticed that she was crying. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. It's just, I saw you dig that up over an hour ago. I wanted to see if you were alright. I'm sorry. I'll just go away now," the woman said, as she turned to walk away.

"No, it's alright," Willow said, surprising herself. She had no idea why she said it, but was suddenly comforted to have this stranger there.

The woman took this as an invitation, and walked closer to Willow. "So why are you digging up an old box?" She asked.

"My girlfriend made me promise to dig it up if anything ever happened to her," Willow replied, once again surprise herself. She silently wondered why she had told the woman that.

"I'm sorry," the woman apologized. "Was her death recent?" she asked hesitantly

"Yes," Willow said softly. "She died a few days ago."

Willow was feeling a soft pull towards the woman. Willow looked up into her eyes and saw the good portrayed in her light brown eyes. She trusted this stranger. She didn't know why, and she didn't really care. Willow looked the woman over. She was a tall brunette. Her hair fell just below her shoulder blades. She was dressed in a simply t-shirt and jeans. Willow stood up and then offer her right hand the woman. "I'm Willow," She said.

"Hello Willow. I'm Paige. It's nice to meet you, though I wish it were under better circumstances," the woman replied as she took the offered hand.

Turning away from Paige, Willow bent down, and retrieve the box off the ground. "I should be going," she said.

"Okay," Paige replied. "Is it okay if I walk with you out?"

"Sure," Willow told her quietly. The two women started walking the long path out of the cemetery.

"Why are you here?" Willow asked, after several minutes. "If you don't mind me asking."

"Nah, It's ok. I was here visiting my parents graves," Paige said.

"You seem at peace with them being gone," Willow stated.

"Yeah, I am," Paige replied. She was happy that Willow was initiating the conversation. It was making her job much easier. "I wasn't okay with it for a long time. I blamed myself for their deaths. I thought that if I hadn't of been bitching to my dad that day, then he would have seen the car swerve into our lane. It was only recently that my sisters helped me to see that the car accident would had happened, even if I hadn't of been bitching to him. Things happen for a reason. Even the bad. It's these thing that help shape a person. I know it did me. Before they died, I was on a downward spiral, but I turned my life around after their deaths. I started doing good in school, and I even got into collage."

Willow quietly listened to what Paige was saying. Absorbing all the words that were being tossed at her, but Willow knew in her heart that she was the reason for Tara's death, and she knew that no good would come from Tara being gone.

Paige knew what was going through Willow mind. She didn't have to read her mind to know what Willow was thinking. The same thoughts had run through her mind eight years ago. It was her job to give Willow a little nudge back onto the right path. To make the pain a little more bearable. If she failed, then the world would be gone in less than a year.

The two of them walked in silence for the remainder of the walk. When they reached the gates, Willow turned to Paige and said, "Thank you for talking with me. I'm glad that you're at peace with your parent's death, but I won't ever be able to let her go. I screwed so many things up with her the past year, and she forgave me. She was my light in our dark world. Now that she gone that's all I see. Darkness. After I fulfill her promise, I'm going to England. I don't know what they have planned for me, and I don't care. Goodbye." Willow walked across the street and up the road.

Paige watch her walk away. When Willow was out of her site, Paige turned around and walked back into the cemetery. "This is not going to be easy," she huffed, just before she orbed back home to the Manor.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x- x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Piper was in the kitchen making lunch when Paige orbed in, and sat down at the table.

"It didn't go well then," Piper stated.

"No," Paige sighed. "I thought I was getting through to her, but she doesn't really care what is going to happen to her. She drowning in her guilt and sorrow, and I'm not sure how to reach her. I don't know why the elders enlisted me for this job. You, and Phoebe would be better for this job."

"Why?" Piper asked.

"Because you and Phoebe lost Prue. You know what she going through," Paige said.

"Yes we did, but Paige you lost your parents. You know how it feels too, and you have had time to heal those wounds. Besides there's a difference," Piper said as she walked over to the table and sat down next to Paige.

"What's the difference?" Paige asked.

"Phoebe and I were in a good place when Prue died. Her death hurt like hell, but we had each other to get through it. Before your parents died you were on a downward spiral, just like Willow was. It was their deaths that helped you back on the right path," Piper said.

"Ok, so how do I get through to her?" Paige asked.

"Change your strategy. Let her know you're a witch and a whitelighter, and why she can't sense it," Piper suggested to Paige.

"But I don't know why she can't sense my magic," Paige said as she got up to get a bottle of water out of the fridge. "All the Elders told me was that Willow had been spiraling downwards over the last year; that she blamed herself for her lover's death, and if I can't help her back onto the right path the world will be gone in less than a year."

"Yeah, damn Elders and not giving the whole story. Good thing you have a sister who can get the whole truth from them," Piper said; giving her sister a smirk as she walked over to the stove to check on lunch.

When Piper turned back around, she found Paige sitting on a stool at the island, with an annoyed look on her face.

"Are you going to tell me what you found out, or am I going to have to cast a spell on you?" she asked.

"Hey watch it lil' sis. Don't forget about personal gain," Piper teased her.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. Spill," Paige said.

"Alright. So it turns out that Willow's downward spiral was magic induced. Last year her girlfriends mind was taken by a hell goddess. That's when she started playing with dark magic's. The elder didn't tell me what went on though. She told me that Willow started using magic for everything. Getting dressed. Doing her hair. It got so bad her girlfriend…"

"Tara," Paige interrupted.

"Huh?" Piper asked confused.

"Her girlfriends name was Tara," Paige replied.

"Okay. Tara broke up with her. Then she started to see a warlock who pretty much got her high on magic. While she was high she crashed a car with her best friends little sister in it. After that she quit using magic, cold turkey. The elder said that the magic has been building up in her system over the past few months. Tara and Willow had just gotten back together when Tara was murdered."

"Murdered? My god," Paige said.

"Yeah, it gets worse. The magic broke free from Willow. It took her over. She went after the man who killed Tara, and killed him. At this point she was already too far gone. She killed the warlock for his magic, and tried to end the world. A friend of hers stopped her, but the damage had already been done. She has to learn how to control all of the magic she absorbed over the last few days. That's where you come in. Willow is suppose to be at a coven in England, but she came here instead. You have to help her see that her life is worth something here, and try and get her to be open to her magic again. The elder wouldn't tell me what is going to happen next year, only that Willow is the key to good side wining. She also told me this is the only role we play in it," Piper finished telling her story.

"Great. The entire world is counting on me to help Willow get over her lover death, and murdering a human being. How the hell is this going to work?" Paige asked.

"Like I said, call her on it. Make her face everything and be there to pick up the pieces," Piper said. "Is she still in town?"

"Yeah. It's weird being able to sense someone other than you guys," Paige replied.

"What is she feeling now?" Piper asked. Paige closed her eye and focused on Willow.

"She's numb. I don't think she cares what happens to her after she opens that box," Paige replied sadly.

"What box?" Piper asked as she started placing their lunch onto plates.

"Tara wanted Willow to dig a box up. I hope whatever is in it will help her," Paige replied.

"Let's hope so. Come on let's eat. You can tackle Willow again later," Piper said sitting down at the table with their plates.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Willow decided that she wasn't ready to go back to Sunnydale just yet; so she got a motel room. She was currently sitting on her bed with her legs crossed, staring at the box in front of her. She had not moved from that position in three hours.

Unknown to Willow, there was a second person in the room. After talking with Piper, Paige decide to force the Elders to give her the full story. It had taken a little while, but the finally relented. Once she was armed with all the information she need, she decided to take a leaf out of Leo's book and was watching Willow. She quickly realized that getting Willow to open that box was the first step in getting her to face her pain.

After deciding that it was now or never, Paige orbed into Willow's view. Willow fell off the bed, then jumped up, and started flipping out.

"What are you, and why are you following me?" Willow demanded angrily.

'Good, she angry. At least she's feeling something,' Paige thought to herself. Out loud she said, "You already know what I am, Willow. You are just choosing to ignore your magic. If you were listening to it; you would have known what I am the second we meet, but you've shut yourself off from something that is a part of you.

"My magic only causes pain to the one around me," Willow said with venom. "I wish I had never started practicing."

"How many people have been helped by your magic, Willow? Does the good not far outweigh the bad?" Paige asked.

"Not if it hurts the people I care about the most," Willow said.

"Then how about all the times you've save the people you love. How many times did your magic save your friends lives? Would your best friend be here right now, if you had not used your magic to bring her back? Would you have had a few extra months with the woman you love, if you had not returned her sanity?" Paige pointed out.

"At least she would be alive," Willow spat at Paige.

"Trapped in her own mind. In pain every day. You saved her, and gave her and you a few extra months together," Paige said.

"We would have found another way to get her back," Willow said.

"Maybe. Do you really believe that, or is that something you just tell yourself?" Paige asked.

"All I did was hurt her after I brought her. She broke up with me because of my magic. If I hadn't of been using my magic then Tara would have been fine," Willow yelled. She took a few breaths and sat back down on the bed. "It doesn't matter anymore. She's gone and I'm not going to use my power's anymore."

"You cannot just stop using them. They are a part of you. The magic will build up in your system until something breaks it free. Just like it did a few days ago," Paige said.

Willow looked at Paige like she grown a second head. "I let the magic out. It didn't break free. I let it out, and I hurt every person I love."

"No. The magic built up in your system, until it found a weak moment when you let your guard down, and it escaped. Then it consumed you. You have to learn to control your magic," Paige explained. "That's why I'm here.

My bosses sent me to help you through this step in your recovery. To help move you toward your future, and It starts with that box. You cannot move forward until it's open," she said, pointing at the box next to Willow.

Willow looked at the box. Tears started to well up in her eyes as she said, "I can't open it. If I open it, then it means she really gone."

"She is gone Willow. Not opening that box will not change that. You have to except that. You told me she wanted you to dig that up. Honor her wishes and open it. See what she wanted you to have," Paige said.

"I can't open it. I've been trying to for hours," Willow cried. "I want to honor her, but I can't open it."

"Yes you can. I'll stay with you. You don't have to do it alone," Paige said.

"I don't even know you. How can I know this isn't a trick? How do I know you ain't a bad guy?" Willow accused.

"When we meet earlier; you felt the good in me," Paige stated.

"No, I didn't," Willow denied. She wasn't sure what she had been feeling at the cemetery.

"Then why did you talk to me?" Paige said; knowing that she was finally breaking through Willow barriers, by the look on the red heads face.

"I don't know what it was. I just felt calm with you there," Willow replied.

"And now; what are you sensing my me now?" Paige asked.

"I don't know," Willow responded.

"Then trust your instincts, and trust me. Open the box," Paige said calmly.

Willow looked at Paige for a minute before, moving the box closer to her. She flipped the latch up, and slowly opened the top. A fresh batch of tears stun in her eyes, when she saw what was laying on the very top. She picked the picture up, and the broke down for the first time since she was in Xander's arms on Kingman's Bluff. Paige sat down on the bed next to her, and wrapped her arms around the younger woman. She held Willow close, and let her cry.

It was an hour before Willow calmed down. Paige looked down at the picture in Willow's hand. "She's beautiful,"

"Yes, she is," Willow replied. "I thought I lost this picture when we moved into Buffy's house. It's the only one I had of us kissing," Willow chuckled sadly. "We were watching Buffy's younger sister one night while she was out patrolling. Dawn came downstairs to get a drink, and found us making out on the couch. We didn't realize she was there until we heard the camera go off."

"That's sweet," Paige said. "What else is in there?"

Willow placed the picture next to the box, and then slowly looked into the small box. Three things remained in the box, a book, a crystal, and an envelope. Willow smiled as she picked up the crystal. "It's the dolls eye crystal Tara gave me our freshman year. Buffy gave it back to her after I quit using magic," she told Paige, as she showed her the crystal.

Willow picked the book up out of the box. The book was old and worn. Willow was barely able to read it title, 'Earth Magic.' She placed the book next to her on the bed and picked up the envelope out of the box.

The envelope had Willow's name on it. "That's Tara's writing," she told Paige.

"Read it," Paige said.

"I don't think I can," Willow replied.

"Sure you can, Willow. You didn't think you could open the box, but you did that," Paige pushed.

"No I can't," Willow said, as tears welled in her eye's once again. "Will… will you read it to me please?"

Paige looked hesitant for a moment, before she gently took the envelope out of Willow's hands. She slowly opened the it up and took out the sheet of paper.

"My dearest Willow," She began. In Willow mind Paige's voice faded away as she read the letter, replaced by Tara's.

"If you are reading this, then I am no longer in this world. I am happy to know that you have kept your promise to me. I know I made you promise before we broke up, but I am adding a few things to the box. First off is the book my mother gave to me. We would read it, and practice the spells together for hours. I buried it right before she died, to keep it safe from my Father. I want you to have it. Second is the picture Dawn took of us kissing. I found it while I was unpacking a couple of days ago. I know it was your favorite picture. Lastly is the dolls eye crystal. Buffy returned it to me today. I was happy to find out that you were no longer practicing, but not for the reason you think. You have amazing power, Willow. Power that I know will one day save the world, when nothing else will. That is why you had to stop practicing. I had hoped that I could get you to understand that you were using your powers too much, but when you put the Tabula Rasa spell on us, I knew you were too far gone. Only when you hit rock bottom would you be able to pull yourself back up, and onto the right path. I didn't want to break up with you, but I knew I was standing in the way of that. I hope that down the road I will be able to help you learn the basics, and get you onto that path again. If I died before I had the chance to, I am sorry. My wish for you is to learn with people who will teach you what my mother taught me. I also hope that we can be together again. You are the light that shown in the darkness. The light that was missing since my mother passed. You brought me so much happiness, and I hope you can find the same. Don't be afraid to find love again. It is a precious thing and we never know how long we really have here on Earth. You deserve to be happy. Don't ever think that you don't. If my death was not natural, don't blame yourself. I know you Willow. I know that is exactly what you are doing as you read this letter, and I also know that if you could have stopped it you would have. My death is not your fault. I love you, Willow, and I will always be there for you. In the wind, sun, air, and in your heart. Goodbye my sweet Willow tree. Love, Tara."

Tears fell heavily down her face, as Tara's word sunk slowly into her mind. She knew in her heart that Tara was right, and she knew what she had to do.

"Thank you. I don't know how long I would have sat here watching that box if you hadn't come. Whatever the reason you're here, thank you. I know what I have to do," she said. Willow looked up at Paige, who sat quietly watching the redhead, with tears streaming down he own face. A small smile slipped on to her face.

"I'm glad I could help," Paige told her. "What is it that you have to do?"

"Giles wants to take me to England. I don't know what is in store for me there, but I'm hoping whatever it is will fulfill Tara's wishes." Willow replied.

"I'll be going then. If you ever need me, just call my name and I'll be there," Paige said.

"Who are you," Willow asked.

Paige smiled and said, "When the time is right you'll know." Then orbed out of the room.

Willow sat there quietly for a few moments, before placing the thing back in the box, and headed back to Sunnydale.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x- x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Half an hour later, after stopping by the Manor to let Piper know how it went with Willow, Paige orbed into the heavens to meet with the elders again.

"You did well, Paige. As we speak Willow is on her way back to Sunnydale," said a female elder with short curly blond hair.

"Are you going to tell me why I was sent on this mission," Paige asked.

A male elder mimicked what Paige told Willow just before she left, "When the time is right, you will know. Please keep an ear out for Willow. I have a feeling the young woman will be calling upon you for assistance in the near future."

"And that's it? I'm just supposed to wait until she needs me. Not even allowed to know what this was all for, or how she is doing." Paige wondered.

"That is it for now," Said the blond elder. "Go back to your life. Help your sister prepare for the new life growing inside her. When Willow needs you, she will call."

"Fine. Goodbye," she said, and then orbed home to her sisters.

"Are we sure, she was the right choice for this task, and not a veteran whitelighter?" another male elder asked.

"Yes, she may not know it now, but she will make a great whitelighter one day. She has proven to be very capable. Her first assignment and she succeeded in one day," the blond elder said.

"Yes, she did very well," agreed another female elder. How long do you think it will be until she's back up here, asking about the young woman?

"I give her a day," chuckled the blond elder.


End file.
